Deck 8: A: Managing Conflict in Relationships

Question 1

List and describe the common triggers that lead to conflict, and provide a brief example to illustrate each trigger.

Answer 1

Ideal answers will cover the following concepts. Examples for each will vary. •Inaccurate perceptions •Unbalanced costs and rewards •Incompatible goals •Provocation (through aggression, identity management, lack of fairness, incompetence, and relationship threats)

Question 2

Consider the following scenario: Stephanie and Derek have been dating for a couple of years. Stephanie wants to marry Derek, but he is unsure. Derek's parents were divorced when he was young, and both his mother and father have remarried and divorced again. Derek says he loves Stephanie but that he doesn't "believe in marriage." Stephanie isn't sure if she is willing to commit to a relationship with Derek if he isn't willing to consider marriage.
Briefly contrast the ways this conflict might end if the couple uses each of the following conflict management styles: avoiding, obliging, direct fighting, indirect fighting, compromising, and collaborating

Answer 2

Ideal answers to this question will vary-there are no absolutely wrong or right answers. However, each proposed "solution" to the problem should represent the identified outcome: compromise, win-win, lose-lose, separation, and allocation of power. The objective is for the student to operationalize each outcome and demonstrate his or her critical thinking and imagining language competencies.

Question 3

Synthesizing what you have learned in this chapter and others in this text, discuss the role of ethics in conflict management. Describe verbal/nonverbal behaviors, listening behaviors, and other communication behaviors you would label as unethical and explain why these behaviors are unethical and not merely ineffective.
Answer Key

Answer 3

Ideal answers to this question should identify that unethical behaviors (coercion, verbal aggression, etc.) will lead to the creation of a defensive climate. Strong answers might also focus some attention on selective listening, ambushing, monopolistic listening, and other unethical listening behaviors and how those might interfere with one's ability to manage conflict effectively. Students should not be expected to identify and synthesize every potential unethical behavior but should show that they are able to draw connections between the topics covered in various chapters related to a variety of communication behaviors and relate them to both ethics and the management of conflict.

Question 4

Why is conflict described as inevitable and unavoidable in relationships?

Question 5

Define communication climate. What factors determine the type of communication climate we will have in a relationship? How can we move from an uncertain or defensive climate to one that is supportive?

Question 6

Briefly explain the influences that affect the way conflict is managed in a relationship.

Question 7

List and describe the two communication strategies that foster reconciliation after a conflict. Which one do you believe is more important and which is less important, and why? In your opinion, which one is easier and which one is harder to do, and why?

Question 8

Compare and contrast the different conflict management styles. Which styles are most effective and which are least effective? Why?

Question 9

Describe a recent conflict you had with a roommate, friend, or romantic partner that did not end in a satisfying resolution of the problem. Analyze and describe the way you and your partner managed the conflict. How could you rewrite the conflict using more effective and appropriate conflict management strategies to produce a more satisfying result?

Question 10

How does culture influence the ways in which people approach conflict management? Using a brief narrative example, illustrate how your culture has shaped the way conflict is managed within your family.