Deck 8: Civil Communication in Conflicts

Question 1

Which of the following is not a factor in defining interpersonal conflict?

A) interdependence
B) emotional residues
C) the potential of the conflict to negatively affect the relationship
D) a sense of urgency
E) incompatible goals or means

Answer 1

B

Question 2

Which is not part of a conflict situation?

A) emotional residues
B) people who play out particular roles
C) the time period in which the conflict occurs
D) expectations for behavior in the situation

Answer 2

A

Question 3

_____ occurs in a relationship where the people involved think the relationship is important and should be maintained.

A) Dependence
B) Love
C) Friendship
D) Interdependence
E) Independence

Answer 3

D

Question 4

According to the definition in your book, which is not an example of a conflict situation?

A) Kim borrows Sara's blouse without asking and returns it unlaundered
B) Tim loses to David in Monopoly
C) Bill and Mary can't agree on whether to purchase a new refrigerator with their credit card or with cash
D) You and other group members can't agree on the direction your class project must take

Question 5

_____ theory recognizes that people are often very purposeful in the way they engage in conflict.

A) Phase
B) Styles
C) Attribution
D) Social exchange

Question 6

It's April. Joe and Tom have been roommates since school began, but they won't be again next year. Tom has left a mess in the sink for three days. Joe decides to clean up the mess rather than talk to Tom about it because school will be out in three weeks. What theory best explains Joe's choice?

A) social exchange theory
B) styles theory
C) attribution theory
D) phase theory

Question 7

It's April. Joe and Tom have been roommates since school began, but they won't be again next year. Tom has left a mess in the sink for three days. Joe decides to clean up the mess rather than talk to Tom about it. What style of conflict has Joe used?

A) avoiding
B) obliging
C) dominating
D) compromising
E) integrating

Question 8

It's April. Joe and Tom have been roommates since school began, but they won't be again next year. Tom has left a mess in the sink for three days. Joe tells Tom that if he doesn't do the dishes tonight, he will throw them in the trash. What style of conflict has Joe used?

A) avoiding
B) obliging
C) dominating
D) compromising
E) integrating

Question 9

It's April. Joe and Tom have been roommates since school began, but they won't be again next year. Tom has left a mess in the sink for three days. Joe decides not to say anything because the last time he did, Tom exploded at him and looked as though he might hit him. The theory that best describes Joe's choice is

A) social exchange theory
B) styles theory
C) attribution theory
D) phase theory

Question 10

Which of the following factors is not included in the prelude to conflict?

A) who is involved
B) the relationship between those involved
C) the triggering event
D) interested parties in the conflict
E) the physical and social environment where the conflict occurs

Question 11

Which of the following statements is true of the differentiation phase?

A) it occurs when the conflict is brought out into the open
B) it is the event one person sees as starting the conflict
C) it is when the conflict is the least evident to other people
D) it is when other people tell you that your friend has been talking about you behind your back
E) it can last anywhere from a few minutes to a few weeks

Question 12

You and a coworker have been assigned to finish a project. The deadline is looming but your coworker insists on leaving at five o'clock each day. Conflict is occurring because of

A) unclear role expectations
B) differences in values, attitudes, and beliefs
C) unequal power distribution
D) insufficient information

Question 13

Which is not one of the seven types of relationship rewards people expect to receive?

A) gifts
B) status
C) power
D) information
E) helping

Question 14

When Debra Gambordella says she doesn't want to get involved in the conflict between her husband and her son, saying she supports both of them, she is taking a(n)

A) self-centered orientation to conflict
B) other-centered orientation to conflict
C) relationship-oriented approach to conflict
D) avoidance approach to conflict

Question 15

Which is not a message you might use if you were taking a relationship-oriented approach to conflict?

A) You should…
B) I understand
C) What do each of us want the most?
D) I'm sorry
E) How can we solve this?

Question 16

Your best friend didn't remember your birthday. Which of the following behaviors would reflect an other-centered approach to the conflict?

A) forget his or her birthday next year
B) say nothing since he or she was probably pretty busy
C) joke about birthdays and hope he or she understands what you mean
D) invite him or her to coffee and bring it up in conversation

Question 17

At a party, your best friend made a fun of something you did. You were hurt by what your friend said. Which of the following behaviors would reflect a relationship-oriented approach to the conflict?

A) invite him or her to coffee and bring it up in conversation
B) say nothing
C) wait for the best opportunity to make a joke at your friend's expense
D) tell your friend you don't want to be friends anymore

Question 18

S-TLC stands for

A) stop, talk, look, compromise
B) shout, think, listen, compromise
C) stop, think, look, communicate
D) stop, think, listen, communicate

Question 19

When you are in the middle of a conflict and you realize that the person is just blowing off steam and really isn't mad at you, it is because you used the _____ step of the S-TLC system.

A) stop
B) think
C) listen
D) communicate

Question 20

When you are in the middle of a conflict and you remember not to immediately defend yourself when you hear criticism, it is because you used the _____ step of the S-TLC system.

A) stop
B) think
C) listen
D) communicate

Question 21

When someone brings up a conflict in a very loud voice, and you take a long breath before doing anything else, it is because you are using the _____ step of the S-TLC system.

A) stop
B) think
C) listen
D) communicate

Question 22

When you are in the middle of a conflict and you decide what approach you will take to resolve it, you are using the _____ step of the S-TLC system.

A) stop
B) think
C) listen
D) communicate

Question 23

The best way to alert someone to the presence of a conflict between you is to

A) write a note in lipstick on the mirror in the bathroom
B) park your car behind his or hers so he or she can't leave without talking to you
C) throw a wet dishtowel at the other person
D) say "we need to talk"

Question 24

Which of the following statements is true of violence in conflicts?

A) it rarely starts with verbal aggression
B) physical aggression causes less stress than verbal aggression
C) men exposed to family-of-origin violence are less violent as adults
D) the use of physical and verbal aggression starts early in one's life

Question 25

Which of the following behaviors is least likely to be characterized as a relational transgression?

A) Mary repeats something told to her in confidence
B) Mary always beats Jill in tennis
C) Mary starts dating Jill's ex-boyfriend right after they break up
D) May tells Jill she's stupid

Question 26

Match the term with its definition
-forgiveness

A) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk focusing on feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate
B) an interpersonal communication process in which the conflict is discussed and actions are taken to restore the relationship
C) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk that focuses on letting go of negative feelings
D) a behavior we take with the goal of getting even with or hurting a person we think has hurt us

Question 27

Match the term with its definition
-reconciliation

A) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk focusing on feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate
B) an interpersonal communication process in which the conflict is discussed and actions are taken to restore the relationship
C) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk that focuses on letting go of negative feelings
D) a behavior we take with the goal of getting even with or hurting a person we think has hurt us

Question 28

Match the term with its definition
-unforgiveness

A) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk focusing on feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate
B) an interpersonal communication process in which the conflict is discussed and actions are taken to restore the relationship
C) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk that focuses on letting go of negative feelings
D) a behavior we take with the goal of getting even with or hurting a person we think has hurt us

Question 29

Match the term with its definition
-revenge

A) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk focusing on feelings of revenge and desires to retaliate
B) an interpersonal communication process in which the conflict is discussed and actions are taken to restore the relationship
C) an intrapersonal communication process consisting of self-talk that focuses on letting go of negative feelings
D) a behavior we take with the goal of getting even with or hurting a person we think has hurt us

Question 30

Angela and Luis have been friends ever since they were children. They are now in their 20s and married to other people. At a party, Angela got drunk and kissed Luis passionately, although neither of their spouses observed the behavior. Luis decides he will not blame Angela for the behavior but cuts off contact with Angela and her husband. Luis's strategy reflects

A) closing
B) cloaking
C) coping
D) civility
E) (re-)creating

Question 31

Angela and Luis have been friends ever since they were children. They are now in their 20s and married to other people. At a party, Angela got drunk and kissed Luis passionately, although neither of their spouses observed the behavior. Luis decides the best way to deal with the situation is to talk about it with Angela with both spouses present, so everyone can understand what happened and move forward. Luis's strategy reflects

A) closing
B) cloaking
C) coping
D) Civility
E) (re-)creating

Question 32

Angela and Luis have been friends ever since they were children. They are now in their 20s and married to other people. At a party, Angela got drunk and kissed Luis passionately, although neither of their spouses observed the behavior. Luis talks to Angela privately about it and stresses that such a thing can never happen again. When their families get together, Luis is polite and doesn't bring up the incident. Luis's strategy reflects

A) closing
B) cloaking
C) coping
D) civility
E) (re-)creating

Question 33

Angela and Luis have been friends ever since they were children. They are now in their 20s and married to other people. At a party, Angela got drunk and kissed Luis passionately, although neither of their spouses observed the behavior. Luis finds a job in another state and moves his family without ever talking to Angela. Luis's strategy reflects

A) closing
B) cloaking
C) coping
D) civility
E) (re-)creating

Question 34

Angela and Luis have been friends ever since they were children. They are now in their 20s and married to other people. At a party, Angela got drunk and kissed Luis passionately, although neither of their spouses observed the behavior. The families continue to get together and both Angela and Luis act like nothing ever happened, but Luis finds it difficult to be around Angela. Luis' strategy reflects

A) closing
B) cloaking
C) coping
D) civility
E) (re-)creating

Question 35

_____ is a strategy that consists of telling yourself that you don't want to forgive the other person and you don't want to interact with them again.

A) Closing
B) Cloaking
C) Coping
D) Civility
E) (Re-)creating

Question 36

_____ is a strategy that you use when you want to forgive and make an effort to reconcile but you are not sure you will be successful in doing so.

A) Closing
B) Cloaking
C) Coping
D) Civility
E) (Re-)creating

Question 37

_____ is a strategy you use when you don't want to forgive someone but you continue to interact with them.

A) Closing
B) Cloaking
C) Coping
D) Civility
E) (Re-)creating

Question 38

Which of the following statements is true of apologies?

A) as long as you apologize the other person will forgive you
B) an apology doesn't have to be specific
C) you should offer an excuse for your behavior in your apology
D) an apology promises different behavior for the future

Question 39

If we try to avoid conflict, we usually can.

Question 40

It is possible to be civil in a conflict.

Question 41

Emotional residues from conflict lead us to want change in our relationships.

Question 42

Social exchange theory argues that people engage in conflict when the costs of their relationships are too low.

Question 43

People always use the same conflict style when engaging in conflict.

Question 44

It is best to seek a compromise in the conflicts you experience.

Question 45

A person's culture impacts the kind of conflict style he or she will choose.

Question 46

Men and women do conflict very differently from one another.

Question 47

Phase theory assumes that the way we resolve a conflict today will have no effect on the way we deal with a conflict in the future.

Question 48

Triggering events are perceived in the same way by people in a conflict situation.

Question 49

Expecting gifts as a token of affection in a relationship can trigger conflict.

Question 50

In conflict, it is best to take a self-centered orientation.

Question 51

The civil way to engage in conflict is to take an other-centered orientation.

Question 52

Many people prefer to do conflicts via computer mediated communication (CMC) rather than face-to-face (FTF).

Question 53

If you are mad at your friend and decide to skip an important event with him or her rather than say anything about it, you are acting in a passive aggressive way.

Question 54

The "L" in S-TLC stands for "look."

Question 55

The "C" in S-TLC comes last because it is the most important thing to do.

Question 56

The best way to communicate in a conflict is to use "you-statements."

Question 57

Every conflict has the potential to turn violent.

Question 58

Physical violence is almost always preceded by verbal aggression.

Question 59

It is possible to forgive someone but end the relationship.

Question 60

Forgiveness and reconciliation are the same thing.

Question 61

We engage in cloaking behavior when we don't forgive but still interact with the other person.

Question 62

When someone has reacted negatively to something you said, and you apologize by saying "I'm sorry you feel that way," that person is likely to forgive you.

Question 63

Understanding how to apologize appropriately is an important life skill.

Question 64

List the elements of a conflict situation.

Question 65

How does social exchange theory explain conflict?

Question 66

List and define the five styles of conflict.

Question 67

Why are men and women more similar than different in the way they use conflict styles?

Question 68

How does phase theory explain conflict?

Question 69

List the four causes of conflict in groups and organizations and give an example of how each one might cause conflict.

Question 70

List the seven types of rewards people expect in relationships and give examples of each one.

Question 71

List and define the three orientations people can take in a conflict.

Question 72

Define S-TLC and give an example of what it means to do each step of it.

Question 73

List the six steps for a successful and civil confrontation.

Question 74

Explain how conflict sometimes leads to violence.

Question 75

Explain the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.

Question 76

Describe a recent conflict you experienced. In your description, demonstrate why it meets the criteria for a conflict situation. Use two conflict theories to explain how the conflict was enacted and resolved.

Question 77

Describe a recent conflict you experienced. In your description, demonstrate why it meets the criteria for a conflict situation. Show how you could take each of the three conflict orientations toward resolving it.

Question 78

Describe a recent conflict you experienced. In your description, demonstrate why it meets the criteria for a conflict situation. Show how you could take each of the five strategies for forgiveness and reconciliation to resolve the conflict.