Deck 5: Conflict and Conflict Resolution

Question 1

In the diagram of a hierarchy of conflict reported in our textbook:

A) expression of feelings follows decision making.
B) need for decision precedes discussion of ideas.
C) problem solving follows decision making.
D) crisis precedes need for decision.

Answer 1

C

Question 2

Kilmann and Thomas's conflict resolution model is based on the belief that each style of conflict management is based on two partially competing goals: concern for _____ and concern for _____.

Answer 2

self; other

Question 3

As the hierarchy of conflicts proceeds from the lower levels to the higher levels,the need for making a decision:

A) decreases.
B) stays the same.
C) increases.
D) none of these,since discussion is irrelevant to conflict resolution

Answer 3

C

Question 4

In negotiating from the "adult position," Crosby suggests that we listen _____,respond rationally,and work with the other person to find an acceptable solution.

Question 5

Often people do not directly say what they really want because they fear _____.

Question 6

The first stage in the hierarchical process of conflict is _____.

Question 7

In intimate human relationships,conflict is:

A) normal
B) abnormal
C) predictable
D) none of these

Question 8

In the top five conflict problems for couples,the number one issue is: _____.

Question 9

In an argument,it's often as helpful to laugh as to _____; and probably better to laugh than to yell.

Question 10

A Latin term meaning "this for that" is _____

Question 11

Regarding fair fighting,Crosby observed that we can interact in a straightforward manner when we really believe that our partner will not _____ us or take advantage of our _____.

Question 12

Rollo May says that:

A) to suppress aggression is to repress love.
B) love and hate are polar opposites.
C) feelings of love do not follow admissions of hatred.
D) negative feelings are hostile to a relationship.

Question 13

The traditional taboo against anger includes all EXCEPT which one of the following?

A) Nice people do not show anger.
B) Anger indicates something is wrong with the relationship.
C) Happy couples should not have conflict.
D) Individuals should not deny their genuine feelings.

Question 14

The more one knows about another person,the more possibilities there are for _____ and _____.

Question 15

Which phase is NOT part of the conflict resolution process described by our textbook authors?

A) decision-making phase
B) problem-solving phase
C) consequence-reduction phase
D) crisis-resolution phase

Question 16

Concerning negative emotions such as anger,bitterness,and resentment,most couples:

A) fear them and have difficulty learning to deal with them.
B) do not suppress them.
C) learn how to deal with them effectively.
D) none of these

Question 17

According to our textbook authors,what is the predominant reason for suppressing negative emotions?

A) physiological
B) psychological
C) ethological
D) neurological

Question 18

Bill Borcherdt,discussed in our textbook,identifies which emotion as the most harmful?

A) jealousy
B) bitterness
C) anger
D) resentment

Question 19

People who in many areas of life are unorganized and chaotic are viewed as _____ in the Couple and Family Map typology.

Question 20

Which statement is the LEAST likely to be true?

A) Expressions of anger can cause guilt feelings.
B) Expressions of anger can delude us into thinking we are doing something constructive about our problems.
C) Expressions of anger tend to make us feel more positive about ourselves.
D) Expressions of anger allow people to substitute feelings of superiority for feelings of hurt or rejection.

Question 21

Lerner's overfunctioners want:

A) more space.
B) more feelings.
C) more flexibility.
D) more structure.

Question 22

According to research reported in our textbook,the basic tasks of living together:

A) create the most conflict.
B) are the least problematic.
C) become less conflicted over time.
D) are so easily harmonized that more attention can be given to the really difficult areas of the relationship.

Question 23

Crosby believes that couples should commit to negotiating from the:

A) Parent position.
B) Child position.
C) Adult position.
D) Partner position.

Question 24

In The Intimate Enemy,Bach and Wyden contend that verbal conflict is

A) undesirable,but potentially constructive.
B) unacceptable.
C) highly desirable,and even constructive.
D) unacceptable and unconstructive.

Question 25

When fighting,active listeners:

A) change the subject if they think a conflict might be arising.
B) restate the message in their own words.
C) send a new message that obviously builds on the previous message.
D) use "down time" in the conversation for other mental tasks.

Question 26

Which of the following statements is a misconception about anger?

A) Anger is self-created.
B) In the long run,anger tends to push partners apart.
C) Venting of feelings tends to bring out those same feelings in others.
D) Weak and inferior people do not counterattack when they are attacked.

Question 27

The growing edge is:

A) a balance of separateness and togetherness.
B) the point in a marriage when couples communicate best.
C) when couples have learned how to fight fairly.
D) none of these

Question 28

Ultimatums leave little room for negotiation by putting:

A) the receiver in the Child position and the sender in the Adult position.
B) the receiver in the Parent position and the sender in the Child position.
C) the receiver in the Adult position and the sender in the Child position.
D) the receiver in the Child position and the sender in the Parent position.

Question 29

U.S.society encourages men to be:

A) pursuers and underfunctioners.
B) distancers and underfunctioners.
C) distancers and overfunctioners.
D) pursuers and overfunctioners.

Question 30

Pedro likes low cohesion and emotional space in his relationships.He is private and self-reliant.In regards to the Couple and Family Love Map,he would be classified as a(n):

A) pursuer.
B) distancer.
C) underfunctioner.
D) overfunctioner.

Question 31

According to Mace,what are the two dynamic forces in every marriage?

A) love and anger
B) separateness and togetherness
C) marriage and divorce
D) individuality and dependence

Question 32

Carson is highly unorganized and extremely flexible in his approach to relationships and life.His family and friends view him as irresponsible.In regards to the Couple and Family Love Map,he would be classified as a(n):

A) pursuer.
B) distancer.
C) underfunctioner.
D) overfunctioner.

Question 33

Which type of statement is most helpful for resolving conflict?

A) a "you" statement
B) a "we" statement
C) an "I" statement
D) a "they" statement

Question 34

Calista tends to be very rigid and structured in her approach to life and relationships.Her friends and family view her as reliable and a "take charge" kind of person.In regards to the Couple and Family Love Map,she would be classified as a(n):

A) pursuer.
B) distancer.
C) underfunctioner.
D) overfunctioner.

Question 35

The goal of fair fighting is to:

A) be competitive.
B) have one mostly win and the other lose just a little.
C) have a clear winner and a clear loser.
D) preserve and enhance relationships.

Question 36

Pursuers and distancers have difficulty finding a balance between:

A) separateness and togetherness.
B) flexibility and structure.
C) irresponsibility and reliability.
D) none of these

Question 37

Lerner's pursuers tend to:

A) be unable to deal with feelings.
B) seek greater togetherness in a relationship.
C) try to change other people.
D) take charge and give advice.

Question 38

Noel wants to create highly cohesive connected relationships.She places a high value on expressing her feelings and talking about feelings.In regards to the Couple and Family Love Map,she would be classified as a(n):

A) pursuer.
B) distancer.
C) underfunctioner.
D) overfunctioner.

Question 39

Except for housework and child care,U.S.society encourages women to be:

A) pursuers and underfunctioners.
B) distancers and underfunctioners.
C) distancers and overfunctioners.
D) pursuers and overfunctioners.

Question 40

Which of the following often results when sex is used to try to smooth over a disagreement?

A) the underlying issue is resolved
B) an immediate decision is reached
C) resentment
D) the immediate issue is resolved

Question 41

Learning to deal with conflict effectively:

A) is an area most therapists have avoided with their clients.
B) is counterproductive to harmonious family life.
C) is one of the most important efforts necessary for strong relationships.
D) does not pay benefits worth the required changes.

Question 42

Which is NOT a dimension in Kilmann and Thomas's model for conflict resolution?

A) concern for self
B) concern for other
C) concern for relationship
D) concern for cooperation

Question 43

When fighting,closure:

A) is a term that refers to the initiation of an issue.
B) should be gained as soon as possible or practical to do so.
C) decreases bonding and respect in the relationship.
D) encourages the dragging out of the argument.

Question 44

When fighting,constructive arguments focus on:

A) the future.
B) the past.
C) the present.
D) the future and the past,but not the present.

Question 45

Which statement would be MOST representative of the collaboration style of conflict management?

A) "Once I get wound up in a heated discussion,I find it difficult to stop."
B) "In disagreements,you have to give a little to get a little."
C) "In a conflict,I assert myself and I also advocate for the other person."
D) "I like the excitement of winning a conflict."

Question 46

Identify the correct order for successful conflict resolution:

A) decide how to negotiate,clarify issue,identify alternatives,find out what each person wants.
B) find out what each person wants,decide how to negotiate,identify alternatives,solidify agreements.
C) clarify the issue,identify alternatives,solidify agreements,review,and renegotiate.
D) identify alternatives,decide how to negotiate,find out what each person wants,solidify agreements.

Question 47

When fighting,which of the following does active listening NOT accomplish?

A) It forces the listener to listen.
B) It speeds up reaction time.
C) It keeps the discussion calmer.
D) It aids in understanding of the messages.

Question 48

Constructive approaches to resolving conflict include:

A) bringing up old issues.
B) expressing predominantly negative feelings.
C) focusing on issues instead of people.
D) emphasizing differences.

Question 49

Which of the following usually helps in a conflict situation?

A) sarcastic humor
B) laughing at your partner
C) the couple stepping back for a new perspective and a laugh at themselves
D) no laughter,because conflict is not a laughing matter

Question 50

When fighting,"Time-outs" and "fouls" are:

A) useful tools when verbal interchanges get too intense.
B) indicators that a fight is progressing well and should not be interrupted at this point.
C) images from the competitive world of athletics and have no place in a cooperative relationship.
D) dirty fighting techniques.

Question 51

Which statement identifies a disadvantage for people who prefer compromise as a conflict management style?

A) They might use their strength to manipulate others.
B) It reinforces the notion that conflict is bad and should be avoided at all costs.
C) It sacrifices genuine dialogue.
D) A compromise solution may not be the best one for all involved.

Question 52

When fighting,constructive arguments:

A) leap from one relevant topic to another.
B) stay focused on the current topic.
C) bring up the past,as necessary.
D) decide which person is to blame for the problem,and then construct a plan to deal with the problem constructively.

Question 53

Kilmann and Thomas's conflict resolution model does NOT identify which of the following styles?

A) competing
B) avoiding
C) martyr
D) accommodating

Question 54

People whose style of conflict management is accommodating tend to:

A) be aggressive and uncooperative.
B) have a great deal of concern for the other person.
C) be passive.
D) be nonassertive,but cooperative.

Question 55

Identify the true statement:

A) One style of conflict management is superior to all the others.
B) Only one style of conflict management has no disadvantages.
C) When it is followed carefully,there is one simple way to resolve all human conflicts.
D) Every conflict situation must be approached with caution and thoughtfulness.

Question 56

Which technique can help minimize misunderstanding?

A) The offended partner takes responsibility for personal reflection on the issue and on his or her feelings about the issue.
B) Both individuals should try to understand fully what the other is saying.
C) The offender is responsible for keeping the discussion focused.
D) The offended partner takes responsibility for personal reflection and the offender takes responsibility for keeping the discussion focused.

Question 57

Which of the following is NOT a recognized strategy for negotiating differences?

A) quid pro quo
B) quid pro quid
C) agreeing to disagree
D) Quidditch

Question 58

Incongruity humor:

A) puts others down.
B) blames others.
C) exposes things that do not logically fit together.
D) is a valuable tool used primarily in the court system.

Question 59

People in conflict must consider:

A) the personalities of those involved.
B) the merits of the argument.
C) the level of investment each has in continuing the relationship.
D) all of these

Question 60

Which strategy of negotiating differences works especially well when one partner is asking the other to change?

A) quid pro quo
B) quid pro quid
C) agreeing to disagree
D) Quidditch

Question 61

According to our textbook authors,anger is not a major problem in intimate relationships.

Question 62

A couple where one person is an overfunctioner and the other is an underfuctioner is often seen as a complementary couple where each satisfactorily meets the needs of the other.

Question 63

Indifference is the opposite of anger and love and hate.

Question 64

The more intimate the relationship,the greater the chances for interpersonal conflict.

Question 65

Couples who know how to "fight" properly tend to stay together.

Question 66

The "silent treatment" is a form of psychological torture that emotionally shuts the other out.

Question 67

In a couple,if each member agrees to do specific things,like chores,they are using a quid pro quo negotiating technique.

Question 68

"I" statements tend to be signals of attack that invite defensiveness.

Question 69

As conflict increases,people often do not say what they really mean.

Question 70

The hierarchy of conflict model illustrates the importance of early decision making in preventing problems and crisis.

Question 71

The dance of anger is a metaphor that describes how humans relate to each other.

Question 72

In Kilmann and Thomas's conflict resolution model,concern for others is measured by how aggressive one is,and level of cooperation.

Question 73

The main issue with anger and conflict in intimate relationships is how to fight fairly and constructively.

Question 74

Anger is seen as an enemy,not as a friend,in mature marriages.

Question 75

A recent study (Julien et al.,2003),discussed by our textbook authors,found that there was no difference in the level of conflict behaviors among heterosexual,gay,or lesbian couples.

Question 76

Conflicts are probably due as much to misunderstanding as they are to genuine differences.

Question 77

Anger is like a double-edged sword in that it affects others as well as the self.

Question 78

There are considerable differences between conflict and support behaviors between heterosexual,gay,and lesbian couples.

Question 79

The "growing edge" is a comfortable balance between separateness and togetherness in a relationship.

Question 80

When family therapists talk about fair fighting,they are talking about verbal interchanges that are serious business and should be treated with caution.