Lesikar's Business Communication: Connecting in a Digital World 13th Edition by Kathryn Rentz,Paula Lentz

Exercise 51

Criticize the persuasive request message below. It was written by the membership chairperson of a chapter of the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE), a service organization whose members donate their managerial talents to small businesses in the area. The recipients of the message are recently retired executives.
Dear Ms. Petersen:
As membership chair it is my privilege to invite you to join the Bay City chapter of the Service Corps of Retired Executives. We need you, and you need us.
We are a volunteer, not-for-profit organization. We are retired business executives who give free advice and assistance to struggling small businesses. There is a great demand for our services in Bay City, which is why we are conducting this special membership drive. As I said before, we need you. The work is hard and the hours can be long, but it is satisfying.
Enclosed is a self-addressed envelope and a membership card. Please join us by filling out the card and returning it to me. We meet the first Monday of every month (8:30 at the Chamber of Commerce office). This is the fun part-strictly social. A lot of nice people belong.
I'll see you there Monday!
Sincerely yours,