Business and Administrative Communication 10th Edition by Kitty Locker,Donna Kienzler

Exercise 32

Editing Sentences to Improve Style
Revise these sentences to make them smoother, less wordy, and easier to read. Eliminate jargon and repetition. Keep the information; you may reword or reorganize it. If the original is not clear, you may need to add information to write a clear revision.
1. There are many different topics that you will read about on a monthly basis once you subscribe to Inc.
2. With the new organic fertilizer, you'll see an increase in the quality of your tomatoes and the number grown.
3. New procedure for customer service employees: Please be aware effective immediately, if a customer is requesting a refund of funds applied to their account a front and back copy of the check must be submitted if the transaction is over $500.00. For example, if the customer is requesting $250.00 back, and the total amount of the transaction is $750.00, a front and back copy of the check will be needed to obtain the refund.
4. The county will benefit from implementing flextime.
Offices will stay open longer for more business.
Staff turnover will be lower.
Easier business communication with states in other time zones.
Increased employee productivity.
5. There is a seasonality factor in the workload, with the heaviest being immediately prior to quarterly due dates for estimated tax payments.