English Skills with Readings 8th Edition by John Langan

Exercise 27

The following paragraphs were written on the same topic, and each has a clear opening point. Which one is adequately developed Which one has few particulars and uses mostly vague, general, wordy sentences to conceal the fact that it is starved for specific details
Paragraph A
Florida
Florida, the Sunshine State, is known as a place where many senior
citizens spend their retirement because of the fabulous weather. However, this state offers something for people of all ages. Recreational opportunities are abundant. First, Florida is a peninsula-that is, two-thirds of it is surrounded by water-so there are plenty of places to go swimming, boating, fishing, wind surfing, and water skiing. In the interior, Florida offers many gorgeous lakes for similar activities or simply for observing animals such as alligators, snakes, panthers, tortoises, herons, ibis, egrets, cranes, and flamingos in their native habitats. Florida is also an entertainment mecca. Besides the most famous attractions-Disney World, Universal Studios, and Busch Gardens-there are theme parks such as SeaWorld, Legoland, and Discovery Cove. In addition, every major city has theaters, museums, and concert halls of all kinds. One of the most fascinating is the Salvador Dalí Museum in St. Petersburg, which features the works of the famous Spanish artist. Floridians are also proud of their great professional athletic teams, such as the Miami Dolphins, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the Florida Marlins, the Tampa Bay Rays, and the Miami Heat Daytona Beach, right off Route 95 on Florida's eastern coast, is home to what some people call the World Series of stock car racing. Finally, Florida has many fi ne colleges and universities, from local community colleges, such as Miami-Dade Community College, to Florida State University and the University of Florida. Perhaps all of this is why this state has had the greatest rate of population growth in the country.
Paragraph B
Florida
Lots of older people retire to Florida because of the weather. After
all, it's not called the Sunshine State for nothing. However, that is not the only reason that more and more people are moving to Florida from other parts of the country. There's simply a lot to do there, which makes the state very attractive to potential newcomers. First, there's water sports. One can swim or just relax at one of Florida's many beaches. Then there are many lakes where the state's exotic wildlife can be seen in their natural habitats. Also, Florida is an entertainment mecca. Theme parks attract millions of visitors from all over the world the year round. Seniors, adults, and children really love these places. They are certainly family friendly. In addition, every major city has theaters, museums, and concert halls of all kinds. Floridians also love their professional sports teams, and almost every professional sport is represented, including stock car racing. Finally, there are many excellent colleges and universities in the state. Perhaps all of this is why this state has had the greatest rate of population growth in the country.
Complete the following statement: Paragraph ________ provides an adequate number of specifi c details to support its point.
Paragraph A offers detailed examples of Florida's many attractions. Paragraph B, on the other hand, is underdeveloped. Paragraph B speaks only of "water sports" such as swimming, but paragraph A mentions boating, fishing, surfing, and water skiing, as well. Paragraph B talks in a general way about Florida as an entertainment mecca, but paragraph A mentions specific attractions such as Disney World and Universal Studios. When discussing Florida's sports, paragraph B claims that the state has many professional teams, but paragraph A names several teams, such as the Dolphins and the Marlins. In short, paragraph A has the detail that paragraph B lacks.
To check your understanding of the chapter so far, see if you can answer the following questions.
What are the two reasons for using specifi c details in your writing
a._____________________________________________
b._____________________________________________