Essentials of Business Communication 10th Edition by Dana Loewy,Mary Ellen Guffey

Exercise 56

Your Task. Revise the following poorly written sentences and paragraphs. Use lists, bullets, and category headings, if appropriate. Improve parallel construction and reduce wordiness.
Revise the following paragraph by incorporating a bulleted list with category headings. Eliminate all the wordiness.
In response to your inquiry with questions about how credit scores are made, this is to let you know that there are four important factors that make up your credit score. Because you say you are interested in improving your score so that it reaches the highest level, you will be interested in this. One of the most important items lenders consider before approving anyone for a loan is your payment history. It is important that you have a long history of making payments on time. Almost as important is the amount of available credit that you have. If you are close to maxing out your accounts, you are a higher risk and will have a lower score. How long you have had accounts is also important. Accounts that have been open for ten years will help your credit score. Finally, if you are opening lots of new accounts, you can lower your credit score.