Essentials of Business Communication 10th Edition by Dana Loewy,Mary Ellen Guffey

Exercise 5

The following cover letter accompanies Isabella Jimenez's résumé ( Radical Rewrite 13.1 ). Like her résumé, the cover letter needs major revision.
Your Task. Analyze Isabella's cover letter and list at least eight weaknesses. Your instructor may ask you to revise this letter before showing you an improved version.
To Whom It May Concern:
I saw your internship position yesterday and would like to apply right away. It would be so exiting to work for your esteemed firm! An internship would really give me much needed real-world experience and help my career.
I have all the qualifications you require in your add and more. I am a junior at Colorado State University-Pueblo and an Accounting major (with a minor in Finance). Accounting and Finance are my passion and I want to become a CPA and a financial advisor. I have taken Intermediate I and II and now work as a financial advisor with Primerica Financial Services in Pueblo. I should also tell you that I was at Target for four years. I learned alot, but my heart is in accounting and finance.
I am a team player, a born leader, motivated, reliable, and I show excellent composure in stressful situation, for example, when customers complain. I put myself through school and always carry at least 15 units while working part time.
You will probably agree that I am a good candidate for your internship position, which should start July 1. I feel that my motivation, passion, and strong people skills will serve your company well.
Sincerely,
List at least eight weaknesses.