Deck 24: Putting Your Revision Skills to Work

Question 1

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
Adding specific details or examples can make a sentence or paragraph more interesting.

Answer 1

True

Question 2

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia. A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards. The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers. Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner. Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends. Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) A leader called out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards.
B) A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards.
C) A leader called out every number, and the players used beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards.

Answer 2

C

Question 3

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
When you revise a paper, you should consider sentence length and sentence variety.

Answer 3

True

Question 4

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them row out to investigate.
B) On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic, and some of them rowed out to investigate.
C) On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic, and some of them rowing out to investigate.

Question 5

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia. A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards. The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers. Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner. Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends. Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) Lowe marketed the game as "Bingo!" and it sold like crazy.
B) Lowe went on to market the game as "Bingo!" and it sold phenomenally.
C) Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.

Question 6

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table, and the public didn't have the first clue about the difference between fiction and the facts.
B) After Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table, the public began to confuse fiction with the facts.
C) Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table, and the public's confusion of fiction with the facts.

Question 7

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the landing of the ship on an island in the Azores.
B) The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last, final entry in the ship's log book on the date of November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores.
C) The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship landed on an island in the Azores.

Question 8

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia. A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards. The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers. Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner. Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends. Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) The shrewd businessman returned home and began testing the game on friends.
B) Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends.
C) Sharp as a tack, he returns home and begins testing the game on friends.

Question 9

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) People were obsessed with the mystery. They developed theories about what happened. Some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake." Others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
B) Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondered if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
C) Obsessed with the mystery, many people let their imaginations run wild and developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men lost their minds and slaughtered everyone.

Question 10

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia. A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards. The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers. Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner. Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends. Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) The winners yelled "Beano!" when they had filled in a row of numbers.
B) The winners yell "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers.
C) The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers.

Question 11

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made you chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884.
B) The public ignored the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event revived interest in 1884.
C) The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event makes you chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884.

Question 12

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
It is acceptable to switch person from "I" to "you" within your paper.

Question 13

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
Proofreading is the first stage of the revision process.

Question 14

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia. A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards. The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers. Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner. Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends. Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe comes across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia.
B) In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia.
C) In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people enjoying themselves while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia.

Question 15

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished. Their oilskin boots and pipes left behind.
B) It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind.
C) It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, and without their oilskin boots and pipes.

Question 16

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia. A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards. The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers. Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner. Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends. Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner.
B) Quick as a wink, Lowe sees the game is a winner.
C) Lowe immediately saw the potential of the game.

Question 17

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat is missing, and not one single, solitary person is on board.
B) According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a missing lifeboat, and not one single, solitary person on board.
C) According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and no one was on board.

Question 18

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
When you revise a paper, you should only be looking for spelling or grammatical errors.

Question 19

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
Putting ideas in logical order isn't an important consideration in revising a paper.

Question 20

Instructions: Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
On December 4, 1872, the crew of the Dei Gratia discovered a ship named the Mary Celeste drifting in the Atlantic. Some of them rowed out to investigate. According to their account, the ship was seaworthy, but a lifeboat was missing, and not one single, solitary person was on board. It seemed that the Mary Celeste 's crew simply vanished into thin air without a trace, leaving their oilskin boots and pipes behind. The Mary Celeste 's captain recorded his last entry in the ship's log book on November 25 when the ship lands on an island in the Azores. An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and praise for the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor. The public didn't give a hoot about the incident until young Arthur Conan Doyle's fictional version of the event made them chomp at the bit to learn more in 1884. Conan Doyle described untouched breakfasts and still-warm cups of tea on the captain's table. The public began to confuse fiction with the facts. Obsessed with the mystery, many people developed theories about what happened; some suggested, for example, that the ship experienced a "seaquake," and others wondering if the Dei Gratia 's men slaughtered everyone.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?

A) An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy, and it praised the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor.
B) An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy and praises the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor.
C) An Admiral Court inquiry found no evidence of foul play or piracy. It praised the crew of the Dei Gratia for safely bringing both vessels to harbor.

Question 21

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
In general essays should have a thesis statement that expresses the main idea.

Question 22

Instructions: Read the following draft paragraph, and then select the letter of the sentence in each set below that is the best revision.
My niece is a ballet dancer. She has been accepted to the Dance Theater of Harlem. She will probably be a member of a professional dance company sometime in the future. She loves to dance. She has been dancing since she was five years old. She dances solo and also as a member of the ballet corps. I always enjoy attending her performances.
Which sentence is the best revision?

A) My niece is a ballet dancer.
B) My niece is a ballet dancer who performs both solo ballets and as a member of the ballet corps.
C) My niece is a ballet dancer and I always enjoy attending her performances.

Question 23

Instructions: Read the following draft paragraph, and then select the letter of the sentence in each set below that is the best revision.
My niece is a ballet dancer. She has been accepted to the Dance Theater of Harlem. She will probably be a member of a professional dance company sometime in the future. She loves to dance. She has been dancing since she was five years old. She dances solo and also as a member of the ballet corps. I always enjoy attending her performances.
Which sentence is the best revision?

A) She loves to dance, and she has been dancing since she was five years old.
B) She loves to dance since she was five years old.
C) Since she was five years old, she has been dancing.

Question 24

Instructions: Read the following draft paragraph, and then select the letter of the sentence in each set below that is the best revision.
My niece is a ballet dancer. She has been accepted to the Dance Theater of Harlem. She will probably be a member of a professional dance company sometime in the future. She loves to dance. She has been dancing since she was five years old. She dances solo and also as a member of the ballet corps. I always enjoy attending her performances.
Which sentence is the best revision?

A) I always enjoy attending her performances.
B) I always enjoy attending the performances of my niece the ballet dancer.
C) I enjoy attending her performances, not only to see my niece dance, but to see the beautiful costumes and hear the wonderful music.

Question 25

Instructions: Read the following draft paragraph, and then select the letter of the sentence in each set below that is the best revision.
My niece is a ballet dancer. She has been accepted to the Dance Theater of Harlem. She will probably be a member of a professional dance company sometime in the future. She loves to dance. She has been dancing since she was five years old. She dances solo and also as a member of the ballet corps. I always enjoy attending her performances.
Which sentence is the best revision?

A) My niece will be attending the Dance Theater of Harlem.
B) My niece has been accepted to the Dance Theater of Harlem, and she will probably become a professional member of a ballet company.
C) My niece is going to go to the Dance Theater of Harlem.

Question 26

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
Be consistent in use of verb tenses in your writing.

Question 27

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
Long paragraphs are always helpful to the reader.

Question 28

Instructions: Select True if the statement is true or False if the statement is false.
Repetition of the same words or phrases may improve unity in your paper.