The tendency for a member of a couple to chronically blame the spouse for problems and not take responsibility when he/she should illustrates the common attributional error referred to as

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The actor-observer effect refers to the tendency for individuals to attribute their own behavior to external circumstances, while attributing the behavior of others to internal factors. In this case, the person blaming their spouse is attributing their own behavior to external circumstances (their spouse's actions or mistakes), while failing to take responsibility for their own actions or mistakes.

The Tendency for a Member of a Couple to Chronically