People will sometimes rationalise self-concept discrepancies, such as between the ideal self and the actual self. This idea can be extended to how we go about maintaining a close relationship. This process is called:

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Partner regulation refers to the processes or strategies individuals use to reduce discrepancies between their ideal standards and their perceptions of their partner or relationship. This can involve efforts to change the partner or adjustments in one's perceptions and expectations to maintain relationship satisfaction.

People Will Sometimes Rationalise Self-Concept Discrepancies, Such as Between the Ideal