Berger and Kellner say that couples revise their definitions of reality and redefine old friends and past events. Berger and Kellner see this as

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Berger and Kellner view the process of couples revising their definitions of reality and redefining old friends and past events as a normal process of developing a shared view of the world. It is not seen as an unfortunate loss of individuality or a form of mental illness, nor is it necessarily a conscious and intentional effort to get along. While it may sometimes lead to divorce, it is not considered a leading cause of divorce in America today.

Berger and Kellner Say That Couples Revise Their Definitions of Reality