Whenever Kendra's three-year-old son,Paul,spits his food onto the floor,she takes the time to tell him that she loves him,but she does not like it when he spits his food on the floor.Kendra wants to avoid creating ____ for Paul.

Question

Quizplus · Accepted Answer

By expressing love only when Paul behaves in a certain way (not spitting food on the floor), Kendra is inadvertently creating conditions of worth for him. This means that Paul may start to believe that he is only lovable or worthy of affection when he behaves in a certain way, rather than feeling unconditionally loved regardless of his actions. By telling him that she loves him but doesn't like the behavior, Kendra is trying to avoid creating a deficiency orientation in Paul (where he believes he is lacking in some way), but the focus on behavior still creates conditions of worth.

Whenever Kendra's Three-Year-Old Son,Paul,spits His Food onto the Floor,she Takes