Lily likes her classmate Beth, but finds her to be disingenuous at times. After class, Beth will ask, "What are you doing right now"? If Lily says nothing or that she is going home, Beth will then ask for a ride home. Lily wishes that Beth would use the ______________ message of spontaneity and just ask directly for a ride home instead of "trapping" Lily into it.

Question

Quizplus · Accepted Answer

Beth's indirect way of asking for a ride home, by first asking what Lily is doing and then only asking for a ride if Lily says she is going home, is a disconfirming message. A disconfirming message is one that contradicts the speaker's true intentions. In this case, Beth's true intention is to ask for a ride home, but she does so in a way that makes it seem like she is not really asking. This can be confusing and frustrating for the listener, and it can make it difficult to know how to respond.

Lily Likes Her Classmate Beth, but Finds Her to Be