Question 1

When Lisa says to her husband, "You'd make a lousy father," she is communicating which type of hurtful message?

Accepted Answer

Lisa is making an evaluation about her husband's potential parenting skills, which can be hurtful and damaging to his self-esteem. The statement implies that he is not fit to be a father and suggests a lack of trust or confidence in his abilities.

Question 2

One effective way to offer forgiveness to another is to ask the person to meet a condition that is important to you.

Accepted Answer

This statement is not a correct or effective way to offer forgiveness. True forgiveness should not require any conditions or expectations from the other person. It is important to genuinely forgive and let go of any resentment or anger towards the person, rather than expecting them to meet certain conditions.

Question 3

Sarah has recently been robbed and is leery of leaving her apartment if unnecessary. According Layton's forgiveness process, Sarah is in the midst of which of the following steps?

Accepted Answer

Sarah's fear and wariness are indicative of her being in the "injured innocence" stage of Layton's forgiveness process, where the victim feels a sense of injustice and pain.

Question 4

Which of the following is characteristic of forgiveness?

Accepted Answer

Forgiveness involves acknowledging the truth about what has happened, including any harm or wrongdoing that occurred. It does not necessarily dismiss or minimize the situation, excuse the actions of the other, or disregard justice. Forgiveness is not the same thing as pardon, as pardon involves an official legal process while forgiveness is a personal choice to let go of resentment and bitterness towards someone.

Question 5

Your book says that memories are essential to the forgiveness process, since they may help you become less susceptible to repeated injury.

Accepted Answer

Memories can help us understand the events that led to our hurt and help us process our emotions. This understanding can help us set boundaries and potentially avoid similar situations in the future, making us less susceptible to repeated injury. Additionally, memories can allow us to see the person who hurt us in a more human and compassionate light, which can aid in the forgiveness process.

Question 6

The text suggest that children who've been abused should try to forget about the events and memories so they can move on more easily.

Accepted Answer

The text does not suggest that children who have been abused should try to forget about the events and memories. It stresses the importance of seeking help and support to heal from the trauma.

Question 7

Individuals are more likely to renegotiate a relationship through forgiveness when they know which of the following?

Accepted Answer

All of the options listed are factors that contribute to individuals being more likely to renegotiate a relationship through forgiveness. Without essential agreement regarding the nature of the violation, an acknowledgement of the hurt experienced, an apology for the hurt, and a willingness to apologize for the offensive behavior, it is more difficult for individuals to move forward and forgive.

Question 8

Jim and Susan are getting a divorce, and have been going to court to obtain a custody settlement. Jim suddenly realizes that his fight for the children has more to do with hurting Susan than with the children's well-being (they both are good parents to the children). Jim is portraying which stage in the forgiveness process?

Accepted Answer

Jim is realizing that his motivations are not aligned with the best interests of the children, which is a key component of forbearance in the forgiveness process. He is recognizing that he needs to let go of his desire for revenge or hurting Susan and focus on what is best for the children.

Question 9

According to the list of stages in the forgiveness process, what is the chronology of the following statements, (1) "Why hasn't something like what happened to me happened to her," (2) "How would life be different if I forgave him," (3) "I can't believe this happened to me," and (4) "I made it through this experience and no longer harbor resentment?"

Accepted Answer

The stages of forgiveness process are:
1) Acknowledging the hurt
2) Making a decision to forgive
3) Working through the pain and anger
4) Letting go of resentment and finding meaning
The chronology of the statements in the question would be 3 ("I can't believe this happened to me"), 1 ("Why hasn't something like what happened to me happened to her"), 2 ("How would life be different if I forgave him"), and finally 4 ("I made it through this experience and no longer harbor resentment"). Therefore, the correct answer would be D.

Question 10

In the phase of "transcendence," a person is able to stop obsessing over images and messages from the past.

Accepted Answer

In the phase of transcendence, a person is able to move beyond and rise above their past experiences and attachments, including obsessions with past images and messages.

Question 11

An effective apology includes making amends for the wrongdoing.

Accepted Answer

An effective apology not only includes saying sorry for the mistake, but also involves taking responsibility and making things right by making amends for the wrongdoing.

Question 12

Repairing a relationship so re-engagement, cooperation and trust become possible is what your book calls "reconciliation."

Accepted Answer

Reconciliation is the process of repairing a relationship and rebuilding trust so that both parties can re-engage and cooperate effectively.

Question 13

"If you think you are going to walk out on me, I'll make sure your parents know everything you did when we were living with them" is an example of what type of hurtful message?

Accepted Answer

This statement is a threat, as it is intended to create fear in the listener and coerce them into staying in the relationship.

Question 14

A person who gets caught up in what has happened to her/him and uses the story to get sympathy from others may be caught up in the "eddy" of:

Accepted Answer

The term "eddy" suggests getting caught up in a cycle or pattern, which is often associated with feeling like a victim or being victimized. Using one's story to seek sympathy from others can be a sign of feeling victimized by what has happened, leading to a cycle of seeking validation and sympathy from others. This can create an emotional eddy that is difficult to break out of.

Question 15

Which of the following are NOT necessary for an effective apology?

Accepted Answer

The answer of Which of the following are NOT necessary...

Question 16

The question, "Am I willing to consider forgiveness as an option?" is most closely related to which of the following stages of forgiveness?

Accepted Answer

The question "Am I willing to consider forgiveness as an option?" indicates the individual has reached the decision stage of forgiveness where they are considering whether forgiveness is a viable option for them. The other stages of forgiveness (Uncovering, Work, and Outcome) focus on different aspects of the forgiveness process.

Question 17

According to the text, sometimes forgiveness is best approached as a decision, in order to give the person(s) something to "do.

Accepted Answer

The text suggests that sometimes forgiveness can be approached as a decision, as it gives the person(s) a concrete action to take in order to work towards forgiveness.

Question 18

A common misconception about forgiveness is that it excuses the behavior or situation.

Accepted Answer

Forgiveness does not excuse the behavior or situation. It does not mean that what happened was okay or that the person who caused the harm is free from accountability or consequences. Forgiveness is about releasing anger and resentment and moving towards healing and personal growth.

Question 19

Part of the process of forgiving someone is to face the anger you feel.

Accepted Answer

It's true that facing the anger you feel towards the person you want to forgive is an important part of the forgiveness process. Ignoring or suppressing our anger can make it difficult to truly let go of the hurt and move towards forgiving the other person. Acknowledging and processing our anger can help us come to terms with what's happened and start to heal.

Question 20

Unlike giving forgiveness, receiving forgiveness is a simple task.

Accepted Answer

Receiving forgiveness can be complex and difficult because it requires accepting responsibility for the wrongdoing and acknowledging the hurt caused to the other person. It also includes letting go of any resentment or bitterness towards the person who is forgiving you.

Quiz 10: The Practice of Forgiveness and Reconciliation