Read the following paragraph. For each set of sentences below the paragraph, select the letter of the sentence that provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language.
In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia. A leader calls out each and every number, and the players use beans to cover the matching numbers on their cards. The winners yelled "Beano!" at the top of their lungs when they had filled in a row of numbers. Quick as a wink, Lowe saw the game was a winner. Sharp as a tack, he returned home and began testing the game on friends. Lowe markets the game as "Bingo!" and it sells like crazy.
Which sentence provides the best revision for consistency; parallel structure; sentence variety; and fresh, concise language?
A) In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe comes across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia.
B) In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people having more fun than a barrel of monkeys while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia.
C) In 1929, toy dealer Edwin S. Lowe came across people enjoying themselves while playing a game at a carnival in rural Georgia.

Question

Quizplus · Accepted Answer

Sentence C provides the best revision as it maintains past tense consistency, uses concise language by removing the cliché "more fun than a barrel of monkeys," and keeps the focus on the action without losing meaning.

Read the Following Paragraph