Again, using your Gottmann training, you are working with a couple who is having a hard time seeing anything but the negative. You bring out the idea that the couple engage in:

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While it seems like a given that anyone would understand, many couples have a hard time grasping that their love and admiration go further than their strife and their pain. It is true and while skill building is important, nothing matches the importance of feeling appreciated. Reactionary feelings and apathy are especially contrary to relationship building.

Again, Using Your Gottmann Training, You Are Working with a Couple